Is Family Worth it?

why even have a family? I often hear people my age ask this question. Sometimes I hear positive things but many times I have heard things that concern me. More and more my friends and acquaintances speech about how they don’t want to be tied down and how getting married and having a family will tie them down and deprive them of all of the wonderful things that like has to offer. Some of these people never want to have a family and children of their own and many talk about postponing a family till there 30s.

I do have to admit there has even been times that I have felt socially pressured to feel the same way. I remember sitting with a group of young single adults anywhere from 17 to 29 from all around the world. We were all in Indonesia to see the world and to do a little service as we went. As we sat talking we started on the topic of travel and family because out of all of the people there I was the only one that had come with my parents. One of them turned to me and said “you came here with your parents, didn’t you? That is a little weird don’t you think?”

To be honest that had never accrued to me. I loved my parents and I was so glad that they had come on this service trip with me but in that moment, I felt pretty out of place. I responded that I thought my parents were really cool for coming with me. Then one girl added in “Your parents are pretty cool for coming even though they are old now. I don’t think I could do that I want to travel when I am young and can actually have fun and taking kids would be way to hard.” I was so shocked because like I said I thought my parents were awesome and I hopped that someday I could travel somewhere with my kids but all the others seemed to agree. They then proceeded to ask when each of us wanted to get married and how many kids you want you can imagine how uncomfortable it was when I said maybe when I am 23 and everyone else said 29 and up. They thought I was crazy and that 23 was far too young. I started to think that maybe they were right maybe a family should wait.

I have continued to think about this for many years but I have come to know that a family is worth it and that it shouldn’t wait. We live in a world that is very focused on individuals everyone is worried about what is best for them and what they want to do. Like my friends in Indonesia said they couldn’t possibly settle down and have a family it would ruin their perfectly planned out life. But in this search of what is best for individuals it is not surprising that people are becoming very lonely because whether of not we like it we are social creatures and we need to have close relationships with others.

In Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer’s book Marriage & Family the Quest for Intimacy it calls this closeness that all humans need intimacy or basically when a person really knows you but still loves you anyway. An intimate relationship in this sense does not mean a sexual relationship. In fact you can be sexually intimate with someone but not be socially intimate in the way that everyone needs. Which is why so many people are still lonely even if they have many partners. The sort of intimacy brings true satisfaction is one of selfless love and sacrifice because not only does an intimate relationship need for someone to still love you despite your faults but you also have to do the same. Having a family is one way we satisfy this need. It requires us to be committed to a group of people even though it may be difficult. A family that is close and loves each other can be the greatest source of happiness in your life. It is not easy but it is worth it. Don’t wait to find that happiness.

That is just one reason why family is worth it to me another is that the world needs families. The United Nations has even stated that the solution for many of the worlds problems can be fixed if we focus on and strengthen families. I know that I can be apart of that difference and so can each of us if we choose family. As I continue this blog I will be explaining why family really is worth it an how you can have a happy healthy family.