Creating Culture

Everyone has a culture in their lives. I know that my family is very much a family where they pick on each other and can be kind of ruthless to siblings but if anyone else ever messes with one of our siblings we go crazy on that person. It is sort of a “I can be mean to my siblings but if you are mean to my siblings then you better be ready to get your butt kicked” mentality and also “if you mess with one of us you mess with all of us.” I remember one time my little sister came home from school and told us a boy had called her some choice words and me and my brother both jumps up furiously asking her who this boy was and were we could find him to give him a good talking too. She was so embarrassed and begged us not to, but me and my brother insisted telling her that we are Mortensen’s and that’s what we do. Actually that phrase is one I have heard many times growing up. It spanned anywhere from we are hard working because we are Mortensen’s to we talk over others because we are a Mortensen. That was just part of my life. But a culture is more than this.

To better help you understand how important culture is and how to build your own I wanted to give a short definition because when I first think culture I think of a huge group of people like an Italian culture but there is more to culture than your ethnicity. I specially want to talk about our own family cultures. The definition of a culture for our purpose is “ the attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular social group.” So we will be looking at different attitudes and behavior that families have. The amazing thing about culture is that you can choose what you want the culture to be like in your family.

Now that is easier said than done. There can be challenges when establishing a new culture in your family but I could save a family and especially a new marriage. In order to do this you need to have good communication in your relationships because everyone come from their own family culture and if you don’t talk about and strive to create a positive culture in your family and life then your culture will be created for you and they out comes may not be what you want. A good example of this is found in a family I know there dad teases and makes fun people when they cry and although he didn’t mean to he created a culture in their family that it was not ok to cry or show that they are sad. My friend and their siblings tend to bottle up feelings now and hate showing others when they are upset. Some of them becoming push over never saying when they felt they were being mistreated and some becoming bullies so they never had to show weakness.

None of us want to be controlled by outside sources or unintended actions to create a negative culture in our families that is why it is important to take control and to create your own. It is important also to remember that because everyone comes from a different they will have things that make no sense to you but make perfect sense to them. When you choose to have a family and get married it is important to talk about what culture you both want to have in your family. Don’t drop someone just because they do something that doesn’t make sense right away. Ask them calmly to help you understand where they are coming from and make a combined decision of what will be best for both of you.

A good culture in a family can change everything in your life. Don’t let change decide what it will be. You can make a difference in your family and change things you may not have liked when you were growing up. Be aware that your actions affect the culture of those around you. A bright future can be yours when you do look around and choose what you what your attitudes and behaviors to be.