the big I DO

Marriage a life changing event and there is more to do than some think before you say that big I DO. Today I want to talk about what is important to do and what is not so important before that big day and after that to go over some common things that people have to adjust to after marriage in the first year.

What is the first thing you think about when you think about marriage? For me one of the first things that comes to mind is a wedding. You know with the bride in a beautiful white dress and big cake and amazing reception. I am sure many of you think of this as well but it turns about that marriage and a wedding are pretty different things a wedding is an event that signifies that a marriage is valid and give people an opportunity to congratulate and support the new couple. A marriage on the other hand is the union of two people it is much more than a one-time event and it is much more important. I am not saying that the wedding is not important in fact it is very important. It gives couples a change to practice budgeting money and can give them something positive to look back on when times start to get tough. In fact, couples are much more likely to want to work out problems in the future if they can look back with a positive view of the beginning of the marriage.

What is not so important when it comes to weddings is spending a small fortune on it. The traditional wedding where the bride and groom put on a huge event for all of their friends and acquaintances is only one way to do a wedding and it is not always the best way. Many times, weddings have to be pushed back until a couple can find a way to pay or they may go in to debt. Even if the parents pay it can cause certain problems with family members thinking they have a say in the marriage because they payed so much money for it. You can avoid this be cutting down on expenses. Maybe get a less expensive dress. Ask a friend who can DJ if they can do that for their wedding gift. Get creative! It can be a great bounding time for you and your future spouse too.

Something that is so important before you are married besides this wedding is making sure that you and your future spouse know each other’s expectations. Before you are married is the ideal time to talk about important things like that you think are important. If you want a family in a certain amount of years don’t just keep that in your head and assume that your significant other knows what you want. I know it is crazy but when they say they can’t read your mind they are probably telling the truth! Open communication is key to a successful relationship. Set up expectations and talk about things like what holidays will be like, how you will deal with disagreements, how money should be spent, and if, when, and how many kids you want to have. Of course, all of these should not be completely set in stone because unexpected things happen but you should know expectations and what you two want for your new marriage.

Well you did it, you finally got married! Everything when great but what is next? The first-year marriage is a huge time of challenges and adjustments but that’s not bad. It can become an amazing time of growth but you should be aware that everything is not all rainbows! There will be challenges with new in-laws you will have to decide who has what roles in the home. Who will work and who will take care of house hold chores? Will you split it up so it is even? Even something as simple as what temperature will you keep the house at! My mom likes a cool 67 degrees and my dad likes 73 how will you compromise? Its ok to feel like it is tough to adjust but as you do your love will grow and that is an amazing thing.